Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
