Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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