Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
