I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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