I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
