try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
