They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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