Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
