Don't make out with my wife yet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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