He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
