I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
