I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize