just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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