and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
