It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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