apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
