Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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