I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am naked and annoyed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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