...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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