I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
