1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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