He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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