I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
