But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You are a genius and a whore.
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