I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize