Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
