I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
