Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize