So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
