I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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