dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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