Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I will be naked everywhere
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
