That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
