Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
