It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
