No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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