Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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