Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
