I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
