chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
