Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
