you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
