when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
