plz talk dirty to me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
