Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
