Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
