u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Screwed.edu
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you never un-have a 4some
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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