Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize