I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
