Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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