Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
