He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
