my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When are your genitals available?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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