There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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