He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
