i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
