My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
