he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
