just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so let's talk penis.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
