walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
