I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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