Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
