I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
