Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize