If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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